〜 Life 〜

Hello Hello!

First I want to rage a little... Or not rage? More saying something which is annoying me, haha.

Soon I will be again in Japan. I really love Japan. But I also dislike a lot of things.
One thing is: Their bad behaviour against chubby / fat people.

Well... in a country were all people are slim it is maybe normal to be like that but they are not even informed well about people who are chubby / fat / whatever.
You know...

- not all people who are chubby / fat are unhealthy. So don't give me again a "You have to lose weight, it's not healthy like that!" Ask all my doctors. One even asked me if I'm human because my health is just too good. xD

- not all people who are chubby / fat are that because they ate too much. You know that you can gain weight also because of sicknesses? Or because of medicamentation you have to take?

I'm really really annoyed by this behaviour.

But ... they can complain as much as they want. I won't get on diet or doing more sports now because of that.
I enjoy my life, eat what I want, do what I want.
I tried already out diets because I felt hurt by such kind of words and even thought I have to change myself but.. I was always in bad mood while doing that. And I prefer myself with good mood.

Second...
I don't have to tell much about my life right now. I just work every day, try to take care about my theatre group, play video games, play with my cats, do stuff with my family or my friends... Nothing special, haha.

You see what is missing here?
Right. Studying Japanese.

To study Japanese with books is for me horrible.
To study Japanese without a professional teacher is so annoying.
To study Japanese while not being able to really talk Japanese is so not fun.

So I decided again to make my dream since I was 14 years old true and be 1/2 year or a few month in Japan. I already calculated everything. I have to safe up like 20,000 € to do that.

It will be hard work but I'm used to work hard. Until now nothing really worked out for me well. I was always just working in my life and trying to use the 'easy way' to go to Japan. But the easy way is not the way with freedom so maybe it will work out like that better, haha.

I have nobody who could support me in this way anyways. I think most people think I'm stupid. I should just work properly, get married, make babies.... whatever. After I made my dream come true I don't care anyways so... Haha.

About the last topic...
I talked before about 'family'. Well.. I was always so SURE that I want a husband and children myself. But lately I'm not that sure anymore. I love babies, children, love and so on but... I know that my lifestyle is very selfish.
And I'm also a selfish person.
Not in front of my friends or my family of course. But when it comes to my own decisions. If I imagine that I can't go on vacations anymore, I can't just carefree do what I want anymore I feel very bad. It is some kind of freedom I have to say goodbye to.
And I love my freedom the MOST!

So... I'm really not sure lately.
Maybe it all will change when I find the right man and get pregnant after that..

At the end again a small song! Please enjoy!
Sayulee is a singer and songwriter who makes music on YouTube. Lately she has a super nice project called "Your Song". People can send their ideas about lyrics to her based on their life experiences and Sayulee is going to make a wonderful song out of it. This song is the first of the project and was made in coorperation with the YouTuber Sharla which I really like.