I didn’t write a blog for a long time – sorry?
I was really really busy!
But I feel very calm and happy.
I wanted to write this short, fast blog entry about a random thing I thought about today. Mostly I thought about it after I heard a song that I really loved when I was around 16 / 17 years old. I just took a look – 2006 was the last time I heard this song.
Actually it’s a Korean song which is ironic because nowadays I really dislike Korean stuff a lot but this song is really meaningful to me.
While hearing to it I remembered how my time was when I was the second time in Japan. It was summer and just too hot for me. I was alone for the first time in a country far away – and that for almost one month. Of course I was in a guest family and I met some really lovely people there but still first I was just confused about what to do. What to do the first in such a big city! It was not that I was totally lonely or alone. I am an only child so I'm used to be alone very often. But also... I am a country girl – I’m used to live in the countryside. And Tokyo is such a big city!! The air is different, the heat was different, the people are different...
So the first thing I did was to sit down in the train. I drove the Yamanote Line for around 2-3 hours. I was listening to music and I was watching the people around me. Some were on their way to a date, to cram school, some to work or some just wanted to enjoy a free day. After these 2-3 hours I felt calm. It was more comfortable for me in that city.
Still. I will never be a girl which will be totally happy in a big city like Tokyo. It’s just fun for entertainment but at the end life in Tokyo just feels lonely and will leave you very often heartbroken. Sometimes you just want to stand on the street and scream because you want that people notice you.
Some people maybe say “Hey, it’s in your city like that too!” But I don’t think so. In my hometown people still notice you. But in a city like Tokyo you are mostly just one of a thousand. You feel like an ant in a big hive of ants.
Haha, some people will ask me why I write about this – I don’t really know myself. I’m not depressed or something!!!
I just really thought how lucky I am that I grew up in a countryside. I really want that in the future my children will also grew up in the countryside. I don't even know why I thought about THAT while listening to a song that I heard the last time in 2006. Sometimes my head is really strange.
Oh – this was the song I was talking about earlier! It’s “Ta Ah” by Haru. She is not really a popular singer in Korea and never was so maybe that’s why I kinda like this song even if it’s Korean.
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