► City vs. Countryside ? ◄

Hello!

I didn’t write a blog for a long time – sorry?

I was really really busy!
But I feel very calm and happy.

I wanted to write this short, fast blog entry about a random thing I thought about today. Mostly I thought about it after I heard a song that I really loved when I was around 16 / 17 years old. I just took a look – 2006 was the last time I heard this song.

Actually it’s a Korean song which is ironic because nowadays I really dislike Korean stuff a lot but this song is really meaningful to me.

While hearing to it I remembered how my time was when I was the second time in Japan. It was summer and just too hot for me. I was alone for the first time in a country far away – and that for almost one month. Of course I was in a guest family and I met some really lovely people there but still first I was just confused about what to do. What to do the first in such a big city! It was not that I was totally lonely or alone. I am an only child so I'm used to be alone very often. But also... I am a country girl – I’m used to live in the countryside. And Tokyo is such a big city!! The air is different, the heat was different, the people are different...

So the first thing I did was to sit down in the train. I drove the Yamanote Line for around 2-3 hours. I was listening to music and I was watching the people around me. Some were on their way to a date, to cram school, some to work or some just wanted to enjoy a free day. After these 2-3 hours I felt calm. It was more comfortable for me in that city.

Still. I will never be a girl which will be totally happy in a big city like Tokyo. It’s just fun for entertainment but at the end life in Tokyo just feels lonely and will leave you very often heartbroken. Sometimes you just want to stand on the street and scream because you want that people notice you.

Some people maybe say “Hey, it’s in your city like that too!” But I don’t think so. In my hometown people still notice you. But in a city like Tokyo you are mostly just one of a thousand. You feel like an ant in a big hive of ants.

Haha, some people will ask me why I write about this – I don’t really know myself. I’m not depressed or something!!!
I just really thought how lucky I am that I grew up in a countryside. I really want that in the future my children will also grew up in the countryside. I don't even know why I thought about THAT while listening to a song that I heard the last time in 2006. Sometimes my head is really strange.

Oh – this was the song I was talking about earlier! It’s “Ta Ah” by Haru. She is not really a popular singer in Korea and never was so maybe that’s why I kinda like this song even if it’s Korean.

♢ Restart! ♢

Hello hello everyone!

Again some time passed while I was able to write a blog, right? I'm really sorry!! Always when I wanted to write something a thing happened that stopped me from writing. But maybe I will be more active now again. Just maybe!

What happened lately in my life?

I think it wasn't that much.
I was in Paris with my friends Nadja and Mel to visit the Japan Expo.
IT WAS SO AMAZING!!!!
Even if I think we could have seen and done more things there. When I go again to Japan Expo I will plan about our schedule more properly.

Also I went again to Japan this summer - with Nadja!
Well... the trip was okay. IT WAS FUN! Of course! We saw a lot of things - even things that I was never able to see before. And I was able to meet a lot of friends of mine again - or finally. I was especially happy to finally meet my dear friend Kisa!

Still from all my trips this trip was my least favorite. I really don't want to be in summer in Japan again because I just can't take the heat. Also we had some problems there and ... ahhhh. The trip wasn't just what I hoped it would be.
Next time I will be alone in Japan again or with my friend Mel. IN AUTUMN AND WINTER!

Summer just maybe in the future for one week when I want to visit some concerts. But my favorite artists give also concerts in autumn and winter so ... who cares about summer?!

Also I found a new job!
I told in the last blog that I enrolled from university - and it was the best decision ever!


I am now a passenger attendant for trains! At the moment I'm still in the 2-month-training. I can't wait to be finally on the trains! It's really fun and my collegues are so nice. When I worked in office or in call center everyone tried to destroyed each other. It was really like that!! But in this job we can't really do that kind of thing. We have to be a team. If something bad happens in the train we have to work together and trust each other fully - so we can't be lone players.

I think that's almost all what happened to me in the past month. I told you - nothing special. I just thought a lot about myself too. I think what I really want to do the next years is to travel around the world, maybe find a wonderful and nice partner and build up a family with him.

I don't want to have a big career or big money.
Because many of my friends study in university, have a great career, a lot of friends and a lot of money I thought I have to keep on going maybe with this kind of things. But I don't really think so anymore. I don't need much money, many friends or something like that.. I just want to see the world and be happy with the few things I have.

And because J-Pop makes me the HAPPIEST in the world I share another song with you! Well, this one is not from an indie band but I hear it quite often lately. Please enjoy!!

✸ It's been a while ✸

Hello Hello!

It's been a long time since I wrote something in my blog! I'm really sorry about it. I don't think anyway that people here really read my stuff but still I feel guilty - at least for my blog itself because it took me really a while to make it as cute as it is. Please forgive me, blog!

Well... I think I just say shortly what happened in my life in the last couple of month.
Believe it or not: It was a lot!

I enrolled from university because I didn't felt well there

I moved back to my families place

I "met" a person that I am maybe able to like

I visited some concerts?

Haha... It doesn't sound that much but for me it was a big deal. When you read my last entrys it was all full about university and my shared flat - and now all those things are gone. But I don't regret anything. For me university and shared flat was a try but I have to admit: At the end both of this things weren't for me. I need my own space. And I want to work. I still want to work for tourism! But NOT as manager or something!!! I want to meet the customers. I want to sell the journeys to them face to face.

Maybe some people call me 'stupid' because of this because many people think university is SO important in those days. But I highly say 'NO' to this people. Maybe for them university is the biggest thing in the world - and I accept that - but for it wasn't something. It didn't make me happy. Yeah, maybe I will end up as a super poor woman in the future - but at least I want to end up as a happy woman. My family was always poor so I'm used to have not much money, haha.

ANOTHER TOPIC!

It's more a fangirl topic, haha! Most of you heard already about the thing that KAT-TUN will maybe give a tour in July / August / December? And guess who is in Japan at that time?

AH!!! I even applied for the FC now and hope it works out fast! I want good tickets if this rumor is true! Haha. Isn't it exciting?! I applied for the FC's of NEWS and Kis-My-Ft2 because I thought they will DEFINITELY give concerts in summer but now it's KAT-TUN! But I don't care!!! I want to see them soooo badly.

I guess this summer I won't have much money in Japan. But at least I get to see all bands I want to see and I'm able to see a lot of cities!!

This entry is maybe not really much ... I just wanted to write again!! Haha! But I end up with the concert of a good band. They play a lot songs of SQUARE ENIX games! I heard them the whole day and their songs are sooooo calm! Please check them out!

HAPPY NEW YEAR !! - Some thoughts

Hello everyone!
Happy new year!!!

I hope everyone of you had a nice Christmas time and also a great New Year Celebration!

This is my first blog in 2014 - and also the only one in January I guess. This month I have to write my exams so I might be super busy with studying. While I'm typing this blog I should already learning...

Well, it's 11:27 pm - mostly I should sleep because I have to get up at 5 am.
Also I need to keep on going with Japanese studies!! I can't go to my Japanese lesson on Wednesday because of some university stuff and also because I have a viewing of a room in a new shared flat!!

Most of you know that I'm really unhappy in my actual shared flat. Well... I plan to move in together in the middle of the year maybe with 2 friends to Duesseldorf (the next bigger city from my universities town). But until than I want already to live in a new shared flat because I'm actually really REALLY unhappy here.

So... what brings 2014 for me?
- Next visit to Japan
- Amazing concerts
- Lots of fun
- Hopefully luck in my studies
- If not luck in studies than please AT LEAST in my love life

Most people are happy when they get good grades or are successful in their job. But I was never the type. It was great when I had an A or was praised in my work but it never meant something for me. I was always more the type who was the MOST happy when I was together with people that I love or when I felt in love with someone.
Doesn't mean I want to marry tomorrow and get a child or something, haha! BUT!
It's seriously more important for me to be happy with my friends, family and my lover than with my studies. I'm maybe strange in that kind of things.

Now a little thought I had in that evening.
It's about people with piercings, tattoos and colored hair.
I don't talk about EVERYONE but about some.

Why they ALWAYS complain that they are bullied, treated bad by society and so on?
Really A LOT of them.

Let me tell you my story.
When I was younger I colored my hair really in the wildest rainbow colors. I had piercings (and still have). I wore crazy clothes, Lolita clothes and so on.

But I can count on both hands how often I was treated bad because of that. And most of that times it was from people who drunk too much alcohol. That kind of people also say bad stuff about me when I run around normal so maybe it doesn't count. lol

Yeah, of course there are stupid people in the world. They like to talk bad about people who are not like the 'norm'.
But my experience showed me that there are not THAT many people like that then others maybe think.

I think people who doesn't look like norm already have in their brain so much "I LOOK DIFFERENT THAN YOU! TALK BAD ABOUT ME! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME I'M GREAT OR SPECIAL THAN I KNOW YOU TALK BAD ABOUT ME!!!" that they tend to hear bad stuff 13429473397x more than other people.
Most of them want attention badly - so they don't care in which way. If they don't get the attention in the 'praising' way they want it in the 'bullying' way - and after that they complain how evil and bad humans are to not accept them.
In my opinion most of them are just phishing a LOT for attention.

BUT NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE THAT! I know for example a tattoo artist who isn't like that. He has really a LOT of tattoos. He told me that - of course -sometimes people ask him about his tattoos but he never was treated badly because of that. And IF he was treated badly the people had a grudge against him - not because of his tattoos but because of other stuff.
Okay, MAYBE sometimes people also talk bad about him because of the tattoos but that's not a lot of people. Or he just doesn't hear them. lol

Seriously. I don't think nowadays there is a 'norm' or a 'not norm'. We have fat people, chubby people, thin people, pierced people, people with business clothes, people with rockish clothes... And I think not THAT many people care anymore but people who think about themself "Hehe, I'm not the norm"

Sorry, dear.
You are human.
You are the norm.
Inside you look the same like everyone else.
You are a piece of water, blood, bowel and much more.
So nothing special - the same like everyone else - just your character and your personality makes your special.
And I don't think looks is a part of character and personality - or just a VERY small one.
Sure, you show with it your own taste and so on but your true character / personality comes out with your words and your doings. Not with your hair color or something.

Haha, SORRY!!!
That was quite a serious talk now, huh?!
I hope I didn't attack anyone with it, I also didn't talk to a special person or something - I just have some stupid ideas in my mind. Mostly in the evening.

I end this blog with a nice song from another indie band.
It's the band 'RUNAWAY' and the song is called "Stand by me".
They are rapping so totally my style! (Someone wants to cover the song with me?! lol)

TAKE CARE! UNTIL FEBRUARY!!!