About Tanaka Koki - KAT-TUN

Hello!

First of all: I know it’s maybe childish to write a whole blog entry just about my favorite band. But I found so many friends because of this band and also got so much more people into my fandom because of them that I think it should be okay. Also this blog entry is not that colorful like the other ones because I’m going to explain a lot of things. Well – let’s get started.

I think everyone who is into the fandom knows that Tanaka Koki left KAT-TUN / was threw out of KAT-TUN / whatever (we will never know the true circumstances). And everyone who knows me know that he was my most favorite person in the band. Also the most maybe know that I said right after the first rumor came out that if he is really away from the band it’s almost senseless for me to still buy KAT-TUN stuff or listen to their music much – even if I want to buy now the new mini album “楔 -kusabi-“ it’s more for me a farewell-gift for them.
Many people on facebook and (mostly) on twitter were bashing me because of that decision and my way of thinking about the whole matter. I should support them, I’m a Hyphen, no matter if they are 5-nin or 4-nin, it’s my duty to still buy their stuff or I’m not a true fan. Well… to explain properly I should begin from the very start. How I got KAT-TUN and Johnnys fan.

I think I was around 13 / 14 but more 13 years old. I just got into Internet and such kind of things and was finally able to find out more about Japan and Japanese music. I started to get interested into Japan thanks to a game called 'Final Fantasy' - I just knew it's a game from Japan so I wanted to know everything about it and later about the country where it came from. I was watching videos about that game on YouTube (which was still kinda new at that time) when I saw by accident a video from Johnnys Countdown. It was just a very small video, maybe 5 minutes. First I was like "What was that?" because I didn't know why I found something about Japanese boygroups when I wanted to watch something about Final Fantasy. But than HE appeared on my monitor.
It was Koki.
That man had a totally different style from all of them. While the most boys in that video looked kinda cute or handsome he totally stood our for me. He looked kinda rebellish but still had the brightest and most kindest smile that I saw until then on someones face. I didn't know anything about JE and also it was before KAT-TUNs debut so I wasn't able to find out anything about this man at that time but I seriously watched that video I think more than 20 times on that day because I tried to find out where he is from (but it was impossible for me because I wasn't able to understand just a little Japanese at that time...). I have to admit that I also knew Arashi at that time but I didn't know anything about Johnnys Entertainment and I wasn't a huge fan of Arashi - I just liked a few songs of them but not enough to get into the fandom.
Than a few month later I visited a friend of mine for the first time. (we are still friends by the way! She is one of my best friends now!). She showed me PVs from Japanese musicians on her computer and also one of a Japanese boyband which she doesn't know but which is kinda new. First we were laughing hard about that PV and about the really stupid feather costumes but than I saw HIM again and I was like "EHHH!".
It was the PV "Real Face" from KAT-TUN. And I knew that it was Koki - even if he looked kinda different. On the first video I saw from him his hair was black with blonde highlights and here he was almost bold. Normally I never liked that kind of guys before but he totally got my attention again. The others were beautiful singers but just his voice made the song "Real Face" special for me. It gave it a good vibe, something very nice.

Back home I begun to search everything about KAT-TUN and slowly I was introduced into the bands of Johnnys Jimusho. The first single I bought from KAT-TUN was "Yorokobi no Uta". Before I never had money to buy such kind of things but when "Yorokobi no Uta" came out I was working part-time next to school so I finally had enough money. And after that all other singles, albums and DVDs from KAT-TUN were following. Thanks to KAT-TUN I was also very interested in their background dancers Kis-My-Ft2 and A.B.C.-Z. and got also fan of them and even more bands and Juniors from Johnnys Jimusho. But still he was the brightest star for me on the stages. I begun dubbing and learning rapping because of him. I was always kinda annoyed about my low voice because it never fit into songs - but thanks to his voice I also found something that I'm able to sing and in which I'm quite good.

One little 'impact' for the fans was when Akanishi Jin left the band but for me he never was part of the band. It sounds hard but even after the first PVs I always thought and said "He doesn't want to be there. He is a solo artist but not a group artist. I think he is gonna leave soon." And it came like that. Many people were sad about that time but I honestly felt nothing. I kinda missed his voice in songs like "Harukana Yakusoku" but that was all. It's not that I dislike him but for me he was always a person who didn't want to be in a group from the very beginning. He never was a real part of KAT-TUN for me - and I know that I will get bashed again for this opinion, haha. But for me KAT-TUN was complete and perfect with KAmenashi Kazuya, Taguchi Junnosuke, Tanaka Koki, Ueda Tatsuya and Nakamaru Yuichi. They all were perfectly together, their voices harmonized together well...

We are back to present time.
I think most of you understand now that I was Koki-fan BEFORE I was KAT-TUN or Johnnys fan. After I had to learn that this stupid rumors are really true I didn't know first what to do.. Really, I couldn't even cry. I just said "Hahaha... you are kidding me, right?". Because...
How can he be out?
Without him this band is senseless.
Without him this band just is gonna do ballads (which are not really my style) and lame music.
Without him this band lost their shining star (for me).
Without him it all doesn't matter so much for me anymore (depends on KAT-TUN).
I know that Koki and the band told me and also the other fans we shouldn't stop supporting them and I will always support their old stuff. I also know that they must feel horrible. I just saw today the announcement about the new tour and the new mini album and it was clearly to see that they also had hard times. But.... Seriously.
How can I support a band in which is nothing left for me to cheer on?
When I am gonna watch their new stuff with my friends they all will cheer on their favorite ones, on their 'shining stars'. But for me there is no shining star anymore. I also love the other members of KAT-TUN A LOT - please don't understand me wrong. But it was always normal for me that I was like "...Ah, Junno.. and now .. KOKI!! GANBATTE NE!". Of course I also cheered for the other ones but when it was Koki I always REALLY wanted him to hear my voice.
People told me it's selfish to stop supporting a band because their favorite person left. But for me Koki wasn't just my 'Ichiban' or my 'favorite person'.
He was the real one who get me into Japanese music, into Japanese culture and language, into the Johnnys fandom and so on. Maybe first I was more a fan of bands like Gackt and X-Japan in the beginning but I just tried to investigate into J-Pop and J-Rock because of Koki. Also because first I thought he must be a member of a J-Rock band.. haha.

I cried a lot that 2 days after the announcement and after my speechless time was over.
But now I can't cry anymore and also I think - maybe it's better. People are making petitions for Koki to come back to KAT-TUN. But seriously... the more they are coming the more they make me now even angry.
I mean....
He must knew about that withdraw for more than 1 month now. Maybe he already found a new agency. He just need some time to calm down and prepare things. I think he loved KAT-TUN a lot but also he accepted already the fact that the 4 of them need to go on without him. And I also think it would be more embarrassing for him to come back after he already withdraw. And lastly:
He is free now.
Seriously, rules in a Japanese agency are always tough but Johnnys Jimusho is almost like a prison. And he is a person who loves to be on a stage, he loves to support others but also he loves his private life, to party and to do crazy things. And you know what?
That was also because he was my favorite.
Because he hates rules like me. Like..

Just to give an example. I also loved to color my hair when I was younger into a lot of colors like pink or red or blue or violett. I love piercings. But also I wasn't really able to find an apprenticeship like that because the 'rules' are that you need to be like the rest of the world.
But he always did what he thinks is right - but still he was a good worker for Johnnys Jimusho. People saying it's his own fault - also for the business.

I study business and management myself and ... sorry, no. When he really needed to withdraw because of that pictures and the club he opened in Tokyo than I think as a business woman:
Johnnys Jimusho is most stupid.
Seriously.
I know that it's a Japanese matter to not stand out, to follow the rules... but I KNOW from my working life that it also works if you are not like that. Even if you have hobbies that are not the norm, even if you stand kinda out - as long as you are doing your work good - who cares? Also KAT-TUNs single sales are really low lately. Do they really think it will change when they kick out someone like Tanaka Koki from the band?

No matter how I see that kind of matter.
From business perspective, from perspective of a band, from perspective of the fans...
It's the biggest mistake Johnnys Jimusho have ever done. And the biggest lost that ever had a band. Sorry if I make some fans from KAT-TUN or NEWS for example angry - I think the lost of Akanishi Jin or for NEWS Yamashita Tomohisa or Nishikido Ryo was also hard for their fans - but .. let's look at the fact.

Akanishi Jin → Was always more a solo artist
Yamashita Tomohisa → Same.
Nishikido Ryo → Always had a big Kansai-Soul and it was known that Kanjani8 is a big priority for him.

Maybe it was just me.. But I saw for all 3 of them the result coming. But Koki WANTED to be a part of KAT-TUN. He just didn't want to follow the stupid rules that were giving to him from the agency.

And also.. Why they announce the new tour and the new mini album just 3 days after Kokis withdraw? I feel so miserable - also for Koki. Of course the band has to go on but.. can't they at least wait for 1 week? Just 1 stupid week until they do something like that?! Also Nakamaru said in the interview already something like "the person in charge of raps is gone." So there really won't be raps anymore but - of course. Who should do the raps? Nobody in the band is able to do proper raps or use a rough voice.

I think I just repeat myself from now on and everyone got my point and maybe understand now why I am maybe not able to follow the new music style that KAT-TUN are going to have. It's not because I want to punish Johnnys Jimusho or something like that. I know - if I would stop buying their stuff it will just harm KAT-TUN. But ....
How can I buy something that I'm not interested at?
Still I'm gonna buy the new mini album, like I said in the beginning. Maybe also to say for myself...

>>Thank you for the past 10 years, KAT-TUN. You always made me happy. Always when a new single, album or DVD came out I was the first one to order it. I wanted to support you always and always. I am so grateful that I saw you at Johnnys Countdown, that I was able to see you. But... without my shining star you are not KAT-TUN for me anymore. You are a new band, a band that maybe won't be my style of music. But still I wish you luck from the deepest of my heart and I will always cherish the times I had with you and together with you and my friends. I will always stay a Hyphen but for me also the name 'Hyphen' is gone with Koki because Koki made this name and without him that name hasn't any meaning anymore. Thank you so so much.<<

I'm crying again now.
But I know they still have a lot supporters - and who knows?
Maybe I'm talking like that now and at the end I'm still able to accept their new music.
But my smile while watching them will never be like it was before because I have no one there to cheer on from my fullest.

Also I'm looking forward for Kokis solo stuff.
I hope so much he is able to release something soon and that he is going to make it very big!
Well... I think from now on I'm more a 'Tanaka Koki supporter' than a 'KAT-TUN supporter' huh? Hahaha...

But also this whole history brought me back to my 'roofs'. I watch and listen again more to J-Rock and Visual Kei things - which I totally left out lately. I can imagine Koki is also gonna do some J-Rock stuff now or some really badass rap songs. I'm looking forward for that now.
My love for Japanese music is not gone with Koki.
Don't worry about that! Haha. Maybe it even got bigger now because from now on I want to support more bands (also from the J-Rock and Visual Kei genre.) And also I'm still a fan of Johnnys bands like Kis-My-Ft2, A.B.C.-Z and NEWS.
Who knows?
Maybe at the end his loss was for me first the saddest day of my life but at the same time it should be the brightest because Koki doesn't have to deal with that absurd rules anymore.....

We will see.

Thanks for everyone who read this until the very end.
I know that some of the parts might make some people angry again but it's my blog so I just wanted to write my honest feelings and thoughts down. I think I also forgot some things or left some parts out but...
Mostly you get my real feelings here and I hope most people are able to understand me now.

My last words for that blog entry should go to Koki himself, huh?
It's kinda embarrassing but I think I want to do it.

>>Tanaka Koki. Thank you so much to bring me more into your wonderful country. Japan is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. And the language is the most beautiful I was able to hear. I still struggle to learn the language but I want to be fluent in it in the future. Thank you so much for got me into your past band KAT-TUN and bring me so many nice, beautiful and wonderful moments and memories with it. I got a 'Hyphen' just because of you. Also a Johnnys fan. I know you always had a hard time there and I can imagine that you thought in the past 10 years often "I don't want to do that anymore." because people were judging you and criticize you because you are different and because you just wanted to do what's in your mind. I experienced the same things. But thank you so much for still not giving up and keep on going with KAT-TUN until now. I know that your solo stuff will be wonderful and will my heart make jump again! Maybe at the moment it's still a sad matter and maybe your new ways are going to be really difficult but I know you can do it. I mean... you are Tanaka Koki. When someone can REALLY 'make it worldwide' than it's you. You were for me the brightest person in KAT-TUN and you are still. It's not that I am deeply in love with you.. haha. You are still a musician that I don't know personally. But from the side of a fan: Please, never give up and keep on going. I can't thank you enough for what you have done for me the past 10 years and what you still will do for me - I know that your new stuff will also encourage me a lot. And don't let me and your supporters wait too long, okay?<<