I didn't post something in a while.
Nothing really happened and I didn't know what to write.
So....
I just want to talk about myself right now.
Okay, I think I do that a lot in this blog.. xD
In normal life I just rarely talk about myself because it's too egoistic and annoying for me.
I even don't like when others are too showing off, haha.
But this here is my blog. My little world and space so I can do so, right?
Actually I think I'm not a really ambitious or aspiring person. I don't care that people are better then me in everything. Okay, you will ALWAYS find someone who is better then you in something. But I don't care actually that there are better singer, rapper, actor, dancer, passenger attandants, office workers... Mosty I'm maybe strict but I even cheer in secret for everyone.
I think the only thing I cannot stand is when somebody is better in studying languages. Even THEN I can stand it - but not when that person was before for example a genius in math or something but suddenly tries to beat me in English or Japanese. If that person was from the very beginning also good in languages - okay okay, it's your talent too, that's fine!
if that person was from the very beginning a genius which is good in everything it's different (but even then it annoys me.. XD) but if that person was in the beginning super bad in languages but suddenly tries to be better then me I get sooo angry inside of me...
I know myself it's egoistic.
I should instead help them out maybe, cheer on them.
It should be WONDERFUL that they want to improve, right?
But actually... imagine you are a person like me.
You can do nothing right, you fail a lot in life and you have nothing in which you are really 100% talented - except of languages.
And than somebody who is good in... let me say singing and math and suddenly studies hard to that point that this person is actually better than YOU it's frustrating.
It's for me like "Hey.. I thought we are friends... why you don't search your own talents but instead steal MINE?!?"
I think that is why I mostly reject if people ask me to help them out in English or Japanese.
I just said once yes. That was in high school - because I knew that girl is helpless in English and without my help she will fail her final exam but I knew that she will never be better than me because she is also not really interested in languages.
People say jealousy and egoism are not good.
Mostly I get also super angry when people are egoistic ands don't think about other feelings.
I think that is the only point in which I'm really an egoistic character that gets hurt easily.
So if you want to be my friend and your first talent was something else..
Don't change suddenly.
It's PAINFUL!!!!
I hope I still have friends after that, haha.
But hey.. at least instead of others I'm honest about my feelings.
It's a good thing, right?
So I will end this entry with good music, like always!
It's an old song but sometimes older songs are the best!
